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Blogger1947: Often irritated, never duplicated
My Barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

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My daddy can beat up your daddy

« H E education :: common sense :: Stan M :: email
posted Saturday, 27 October 2007
Quoting from this site:
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - The plan was simple: Invite families feuding over problems between their fifth-grade sons to counseling sessions. But that went awry when the two families ran into each other in the parking lot, and yet another fight broke out - this time between adults.

When it was over, the father of one of the boys was dead...

A significant, but overlooked fact in this story is that both the adult combatants were in--shall we say "non traditional"?--family situations.

Frank Jude, the dead guy, came to the meeting with his fianceé. Now, in case you have just landed here from another galaxy, "fianceé" is the current euphemism for your shack-up mate. The woman is apparently not the mother of Jude's child.

Grant Reese, the man who struck the fatal blow, is described as "the boyfriend of the second child's mother." In other words, another shack-up. And unlike Jude, Reese has no legal responsibility for or power over the raising of the child.

It would be too great a leap to draw any conclusions from the situations of the four adults involved in this cock-up. But it's damned tempting to think that if either or both the children were being raised by a legally married couple, both of whom were the biological parents of the respective child, the matter might have played out differently.

Nostalgia can be a dangerous thing, but life was so much simpler when all occupants of a household shared the same family name. Broken families, broken lives.

 

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comments (2)

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1. Joy Roby left...
Monday, 5 November 2007 6:15 pm

I am the cousin of Frank Jude and I would just like to clarify your statement about him and his fiancee. She is in fact the mother of both of Franks children. They have also been a couple since they were in Jr. High school. They were deeply in love, but for some reason or another just never felt the need to prove it in writing.


2. Stan M left...
Monday, 5 November 2007 8:52 pm :: http://blogger1947.blog-city.com/

Thanks for the clarification. That makes my point nicely.

Understand, I am in no position either to condemn or absolve the people involved in this manslaughter; just an observer of the passing scene.

But as one who lived with a woman for two years before marrying her, the marriage (a very private affair) was not a matter of proving my love in writing, as you put it, but of proclaiming it to the entire world. That was over 34 years ago, but I can still remember how transformed I felt right at that moment. We are still quite married, BTW.

And on the other side of the equation, I have a relative who had fathered a child, and did not marry the mother. I remember that when I was told of his impending fatherhood, I had an ominous feeling about it. Their offspring was a sweet, troubled kid who often saw things too clearly. The fact that his parents had not married weighed heavily upon him, as did the fact that his status as a "bastard child" deterred the father from marrying a different woman, who was perhaps the love of his life. After a troubled adolescence, the boy died unexpectly at the age of 20.

Frank will never have the opportunity to demonstrate to his children how much he might have loved them, and without that marriage formality, I'm afraid there will always be a question in their minds.

When you marry, you are making a contract with the government, but that's the least of it. If you are a person of faith, you are taking an oath before your Creator. But at the root of it, you are making a heartfelt and public committment to your mate, and that is what matters the most.