Pimping the Yellow Pages

Although I have long had the habit of reading the dictionary for entertainment, I don't generally read the phone directory that way.

When Verizon's Yellow Pages book arrived last month, I noticed that in addition to an unprecedented number of lawyer ads on both outside covers and the spine of the book, the publishers even sold an ad that was printed on the bottom page edges of the book. The latter ad touts an outfit that offers several competitive quotes on mortgages, and in itself appears a bit dubious.

This morning I was searching the directory for a photo-restoration service, and as it happens the listings related to photography alphabetically abut those for physicians. Then it struck me that the physician listings started with a display ad from a medical malpractice lawyer! Perusing the two dozen pages of physician listings, I noted at least six more malpractice attorney ads, representing two different law firms. There were a few other unrelated display ads in this section, including a plumbing repair company and the mortgage broker mentioned above. Far from being the "classified ad" directory it used to be, this particular Yellow Pages book seems to encourage businesses to advertise in any section where they might inadvertantly drum up a prospect. For an extra placement fee, no doubt.

But to test how fairly this works in practice, I turned to the real estate section of the book. Among the many, many pages of brokers, sell-it-yourself systems and we'll-buy-your-house offerings, there was not a single lawyer ad, nor was there an ad for the mortgage broker whose adverts pepper the rest of the book. 

Now, while you may on rare occasions need a lawyer to sort out a medical problem, you can't conduct a real estate transaction without coming into contact with at least one. (By my recent experiences you need a lawyer and a translator to work your way through a medical insurance matter, but that's another story altogether.)

This business of placing malpractice-lawyer ads among those paid for by physicians is a shabby practice that panders to people's base impulse to seek The Big Payday when some unexpected medical outcome occurs. There's an element of chance in medicine; which is to say that no procedure carries a 100 per cent probability of success. But the pervasiveness of malpractice litigation has created a health-care industry in which medicine is practiced defensively. Providers pile lab test upon lab test, to buttress themselves against the possibility of a malpractice suit. Other providers eschew riskier treatments, fobbing them off on specialists, who charge extra to offset the increased risk. And everyone in the medical profession is hobbled by paperwork, aimed either at getting paid or covering his ass legally.

The notion of lawyer advertising has long been out of hand, but this latest ad-selling policy from Verizon is over the top.

tags: medicine  malpractice  lawyers  advertising  

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